When I opened my eyes, Vinny was gone. Tony was collapsed on top of me, so I pushed him off of me. I didn't want to feel his sweaty skin.
I caught Vinny having sex more than a few times. I'd insult the girls and roll my eyes at him. On the inside I was jealous. I wanted to be the girl beneath him. I hid my lust, even when I caught him on the living room couch, his hand rubbing up and down his hard cock. He was jerking off to a soft-core porn show on Showtime. He didn't hear me enter the house, or see me until I was in the same room. He didn't say anything. He just quickly covered himself and switched the channels, but I had already seen enough to make my panties wet. I wanted to say something, like "You can have me instead if masturbating." I didn't say anything, just went to my room with a grin on my face.
The next day, Vinny was going back to college, and I wasn't going to see him again until he came home for Thanksgiving. I had hid my lust for several years now, but I didn't know if I could wait three more months.
When I came back into the house, I heard him talking on the phone. "Yeah, I'm going to the party tonight."
Plans started to formulate in my head.
"I'll meet you there."
All I had to do was get him alone.
"Alright. I'll talk to you later." He hit "End" on his cell phone.
"Were you talking about the party at Hendrick's?" I asked.
"Yeah, are you going?"
"Can you give me a ride."
We didn't talk on the way there. The 10-minute drive only felt like five minutes. I couldn't get the words together to form a sentence. I thought about putting my hand on his crotch and seeing how he reacted but I started to fear he would reject me.
As soon as he parked the car, he left me. I found him in the kitchen standing next to the keg with Cynthia Thomas. Cynthia was a junior about to be senior captain of the cheerleading team. She was a year younger than me and two years younger than him. They had been going out off and on, or I should say "fucking" since she was a junior varsity cheerleader.
Cynthia didn't say anything to me. Vinny just gave me a head nod of acknowledgment as I poured myself a cup of beer. She was wearing too much make-up, it was caked on in layers. She kept saying things like "Oh, really" and "Totally." I don't know what Vinny saw in her. Actually I did, it was the only thing she had going for her, her above average bra size.
I started to think this was a mistake, to come to the party; And a bigger mistake to want my brother. I should've known she was going to be here. Everywhere Vinny went, she went.
I wandered around the party looking for my friends. I ran into a few people I liked but I kept mostly to myself. I didn't really like the people from my high school, when I saw them every day. Three months after we had graduated, I still didn't like most of them. I even saw Tony, but he didn't say anything to me. Our afternoon of passion had been a onetime thing. One time was enough with him. He had wanted to study again but I told him my brother had found out and he never talked to me again.
I ran into Cynthia and Vinny more than anyone else. The first time, they were in the living room, sitting on the couch making out. Then in the backyard, he pressed her against a tree as he grinded his cock against her.
"Get a fucking room," I blurted.
He turned back to look at me, smiled and gave me the finger.
After an hour of wandering around and having a couple of drunks attempt to hit on me, I decided I was going to leave with or without Vinny.
I walked around the house again but the crowds were growing and it was hard to find anyone. Fifteen minutes later, I found Vinny coming out of the dark basement with Cynthia in tow. I had a few guesses as to what they were doing down there.
"I want to go now." I said.
Cynthia gave me a dirty look.
"Can't you find a ride with someone else?" Vinny asked.
"Everyone else is drunk," I said, "Just take me, then you can come right back."
"Fine." He sounded annoyed.
He slammed the door shut when got into the car and started to drive back towards our house. "I think we need to talk."
"About what?" He was still annoyed with me.
"I'm not sure if I should tell you."
"You aren't pregnant, are you?" He stopped paying attention to the road and we started to drifting towards the wrong side.
"Pay attention." He put two hands back on the wheel and looked back towards the road in front of us. "Of course I'm not pregnant."
"Then what is it?"
"I think we should park someplace, I don't want to get us killed."
"Can't you talk while I drive?"
"Go to the cliffs." The cliffs, were a park along the river, where no one besides underage drinkers and hormone fueled teenage couples went. The cops rarely went there. We were about a minute away. I had only been there to drink, but I wondered how many girls Vinny had been there with.
The cliffs were empty, no cars and no one else in sight. It didn't get much more perfect.
Vinny parked near the edge of the cliff. "What did you want to talk about?" He didn't sound annoyed anymore.
I climbed out of the car and sat on the hood. He sat next to me, as I stared down at the water flowing below us.
"So, what were you and Cynthia doing in the basement?"
"That's none of your business."
"Did you fuck her?"
"No."
"Did she give you a blowjob?"
"None of your business."
"She did, didn't she?"
"Maybe?"
"Is she any good?"
"Does it matter."
"I'm just curious."
"She's nothing special."
"You'd think she would be good with the amount of guys she's given head to."
"That's mean. Besides, she told me she's only given head to me."
"I can't believe, you would believe her."
"Whatever."
"Do you realize how hard you've made it for me to have a sex life? Any guy that knows you is afraid to come near me."
"That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to shield you from the bad boys. I know how guys are. I saw how they looked at you. I didn't want them using you. I didn't want them hurting you."
"You don't think I can protect myself?"
"I'm sure you can. I just wanted to make it easier for you. I know how men are, a lot of them just want sex."
"Did you ever think that sometimes I just want to have sex."
"I didn't mean to scare them off completely."
"Do you think I'm sexy?"
"What?" He looked at me quizzically.
"I got rejected a couple of times tonight. That's why I wanted to leave. So do you think I'm sexy?"
"Trust me you have a good body, if you weren't my sister..."
"If I weren't your sister, what?"
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." He looked away from me.
"What were you going to say?"
I watched his face, as his eyes darted around. He was looking for the right words but he also kept sneaking peaks at my breasts.
"Do I turn you on?" I ran my fingers up and down his bare arm. I felt his hard muscles and outlined them with my fingernails.
"Like I said, you have a good body. It's hard not to notice it."
"You're the only man I've ever wanted to be with."
"What? Are you drunk?"
I leaned towards him and kissed his neck. "Stop that."
I ran my tongue along his neck.
He put his hands on my shoulders. I expected him to push me away, but he didn't.
I looked into his eyes again, as I let my hands wander lightly across his chest.
"We should go." He stood up.
"Please don't leave." I wrapped my arms around him. He didn't sit back down but he didn't go farther away. He turned to face me. I pressed my face against his sold chest. I smelled his cologne.
"We can't do this."
"Why not?"
"It's wrong."
"I don't care."
"I do."
"I need you."
"Bianca, I'm your brother, not some random boy."
"I need to feel you inside of me."
"What if someone finds out?"
"No one will."
"I wish I could believe you."
"Don't you want me?"
"Yes, but no. No, we can't."
I unwrapped my arms from around him. I stared into his eyes as my hands tried to undo his belt. He pushed my hands away.